Writer and psychologist Sarah Hansen believes that misfortune has many shades. She personally found 50 - these are the factors that always affect us negatively.
jidhu.com invites all to read the article Sarah. It's simple and clear, but for some reason in our daily fight we so easily forget.
Worry - it's like a rocking chair that moves frantically, but not going anywhere. You just are not able to control their actions. Relax and concentrate. Calm will help you make the right decision.In the end, very true words of the famous song: «Don't worry, be happy».
You want to keep everything under control
Sometimes people think that they jumped straight out of the comic book superhero. They believe that they can control everything. Either of the plan should be implemented immediately.You know, this problem is hardly the strength to even Superman. The reality is that we can not control anything but myself. Deal with it, and you can enjoy a while, not constantly trying to do the impossible.
Offended - it's like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. You only harm yourself, accumulating negative energy. Release the situation - it will do you good. Understand your abuser is likely to enjoy life and do not think about you, while you spend your precious hours to ensure that mentally sending him death rays.
Do you think that everyone should play by your rules
Newsflash: the world has no idea about your rules. The sooner you realize this, the happier you will be. No other person did not get your memo about how we should live, treat you to do your job and build relationships. People often get angry at the fact that someone does not want to comply with their internal ideals. And, of course, the decision daunting task - to make everyone live by his standards - brings a lot of frustration. Accept people as they are and vote the whole range of ideas and viewpoints.
You compare yourself to others
We all play this game - take some tiny part of another person's life and compare with her. For example, I can compare myself with Plushenko and conclude that I am very bad skate. But who knows, maybe I'm better than him sing or drive a car? That is why such thrall under the microscope yourself and others - a meaningless exercise. The whole is always greater than the parts you are considering, but you will constantly dissatisfied, comparing only the individual elements. If you did not opt out of the comparison, point it inside: you are better today than you were yesterday?
You think of a dream will make you happy
One says, "I'll be happy when earn a hundred million dollars," and the second: "I'll be happy when today delicious meal will meet my family." Who among them happier? Of course, to have big goals - it's great. But when you associate happiness only to future success - which, incidentally, can not happen, you can not enjoy today. Find something that will delight today and let tomorrow surprise you.
You - "a glass that is half empty"
If you are a pessimist, you only notice the bad things in your life. Your perception becomes your reality. Try to focus on the best qualities of people and on the good that is around. The more you see the sunlight, the less you will notice the shadows.
Man - a social being, and there's no getting around it. If one day on a Saturday night, you find yourself alone and depressed, try to change it. How do you usually find friends? Try to go to public places where there are people who share your interests and beliefs. Smile, stretch out and be genuinely interested in conversing. You will be surprised how great it will help you in building long-term relationships.
You attach too much importance to money
Money makes life better and easier, what to hide, but they do not bring happiness. Think, if tomorrow was the last day of your life, you really would spend the remaining time on making money? Most likely, you would want to spend those hours with loved ones or doing things you love. Life in accordance with internal goals brings more fun than all the money in the world.
You do not find time for the right things
Sometimes we all feel lost. But the only building of its activities in accordance with the internal values makes us happier. There is a simple exercise: make a list of values and arrange them in order of importance to you. Then compare how much of your daily actions consistent with your values. Is there bias? What can you do to change it?
You are surrounded by unhappy people
You - the sum of the five people with whom you spend the most time. If your friends are a constant source of negativity, the hour has come to look more positive.
Did not find your destination
A lot of people signed up to the lie that the meaning of their existence - to live up to the weekend. No wonder that in the world so many accidents fast livers. Stop there and start living.Find your purpose and pursue it with passion. Sometimes it will be difficult, sometimes - scary, but trust me - it will be the most exciting adventure in your way.
You're an actor, and not the author
You render the world a disservice when you try to be who actually are not. Playing the role of someone else, you will never be able to match his own expectations. Some part of your consciousness will always know that you put yourself in order to read the lines that you have not been contacted and - even worse - in that you do not believe.
You're stuck in your past
Many people become a product of his past - the sum of regrets, sorrows and various "what if".Yes, you can learn from past mistakes, but you can not change or relive. Live in the present - it is the only way to get to the future.
You live thoughts about the future
Some people think that happiness - is the destination, but in fact only road to it gives us a sense of the fullness of life. Think of everything that happens as an adventure. If you do not, then so be miserable, waiting for his beautiful "tomorrow." But life - is one endless "today", right?
Yes, exercise, proper nutrition and healthy sleep directly affect your happiness. Emotions depend on many physical factors. Mind and body connection is so strong that sometimes a couple of exercises, walk in the fresh air and extra hour of sleep can greatly improve your mood.
There are three types of perfectionism: Perfectionism in relation to itself - when you expect perfection from yourself, social perfectionism - when you think others expect perfection from you, and perfectionism towards others - when you expect perfection from others. All three make you unhappy. Let's just accept the fact that perfection is unattainable - and to be honest, even boring - and life will become much easier.
You are afraid of failure
Some people are so afraid of making a mistake, that they prefer to do nothing. Imagine what you would have done when just learning to walk. Would you still crawling. Unfortunately, growing up, we sometimes become discouraged and afraid to try something new. If you accept this way of thinking, your life will never be complete - thus you will not see happiness as their ears.
You cling to the familiar
Growth occurs outside of our comfort zone. If you do not dare to go beyond the usual, you will never know the joy of victory over fear and gaining wings. Once the bird has to jump to learn to fly. You can not stay in the nest and be happy, watching the flight of others.
Debts provoke stress, rupture of relations and financial difficulties. Develop a plan for how you will pay off creditors, and you will immediately become much calmer.
If you expect that others will evaluate you on the merit, you will always be unhappy. No one, except you have no right to determine your relevance and value.
You neglect close relationship
Do you know what people regret on his deathbed? No, not that they have earned enough money and not enough time spent in the office. Most people remember about the relationship that had been destroyed in the pursuit of unnecessary things. Do not neglect your family and friends. In the end, love is still the greatest value in the world.
Procrastination - it's an endless spiral of frustration. You put the case on then, and the more you do so, the heavier your load. It's like trying to run a marathon and on the way to collect stones. In the end, the weight becomes simply unsupportable.
You must finish the job and throw the stones to be easy and ready to maneuver without dragging in tomorrow from 20 cases yesterday.
Learning new things brings the joy of discovery. Find a hobby, look for a new interest in life.Learning, you will know the world anew - and thus remain young, able and happy to be surprised.
Do you have unrealized dreams
Ghosts of unfulfilled desires may haunt us. Fortunately, we can always breathe life into our perception of the world, if we can find the courage to move for new opportunities.
Many lives flows unchanged and it can lead to boredom. We have the latest achievements of science and technology around the world is simple and relatively safe, and there is no place of adventure. Routine sucks. But there are many ways to bring variety to life. Set a goal to do something that knocks you out of the rut and even scary - believe me, there are very many things that can wake you up, shake to surprise and enchant.
You are always busy, so do not have time to feel alive. What kind of happiness are we talking about here? Revise your schedule. You'll probably find there are many things that you have taken time, but give nothing in return.
People suffering from insomnia, 10 times more likely to be depressed than those who sleeps well. Get enough sleep - and you will be happy.
You spend enough time alone
Sometimes you need to give your ears a rest from the noise of life and focus on the inner monologue. Spend time alone with him - is natural and normal. No matter whether it is a cup of coffee on a park bench or weekly trip to the mountains for climbing. Your mind will be very grateful to you for those moments of solitude.
Aimless life - it is an endless source of frustration. Instead of just letting things happen to you, create your future, setting goals and reaching them. To see that the goal is to successfully achieved - one of the greatest joys in life.
Depend on others easier, but independence - a trait of an adult. Those who cling to the other and does not intend to be free, are doomed to struggle with low self-esteem. Unable to fly on his own wings, if you are burdened with the need to constantly "drag" with a someone else.
You think you do not deserve happiness
Some have misconceptions about what they do not deserve happiness. Their gnawing sense of guilt for past actions or they simply believe that such unworthy emotion. But happiness - it is an experience that should test each. Cross out the "not" in his "I do not deserve" and see what happens.
For a sense of fullness of life you always lacking something else. And more. And that's it - a little bit, just a little. If you are constantly one step away from satisfying your chances of happiness are significantly reduced. It never ends, the monster of greed and will gnaw you up inside. You will always lie to yourself, that has just about the last thing that will make you happy.In fact, this pit has no bottom. Try to feel the joy of every moment, and you will experience unprecedented growth.
You ignore the possibility
When opportunity knocks at the door, many of us just do TV sound louder and settle comfortably on the couch. Still, after all this looks like a job opportunity or pushes you out of your comfort zone and you do not need it. Simply sit, right? But if such behavior becomes a habit, once you wake up in deep disappointment when you realize that all the missed chances.It is difficult to be happy if you do not give good things to happen in your life.
Complacency gives the illusion of calm. All goes well, life beats you, you are beautiful, like a god - what else do you need? In fact, you just float down the river, and one day it may make you very unwelcoming shore. Strive to overcome himself, do not let yourself zakostenet passive existence.
Anyway, at work you spend most of your life. It is difficult to maintain a happy smile if you every fiber hate this place and the people you meet there daily. After all the work should be fun and satisfying, not just the ability to pay the bills.
You are running after useless things
Sometimes we forget what's really important for us. Just think - do you really need that new car, if it is necessary for this to work three jobs and sacrifice time that you could spend with your family?
You have no spiritual life
Modern research shows the relationship between spirituality and happiness. This is due to the fact that meditation or prayer, and fellowship with like-minded positive mood, soothe, to help relax and tune in to change for the better.
You can surround hundreds of friends and acquaintances, but if none of them are any close friend who would be with you even in the most violent storm, you will be unhappy. Life - is a constant interaction with people, and if you are not sure what your connections are strong, you may want to look for friends. You will feel more confident knowing that you always have support.
You are afraid of yourself
It's strange, but many are afraid to yourself and do not trust their instincts. But if you do not trust even yourself, who do you trust? Learn to believe in your decisions and do not doubt in your own life path. This is what is called "harmony."
You are too concerned about what others think
Once you accept the fact that it is impossible to please everyone, life will sparkle with bright colors at once. Attempts to please everyone one will drive you crazy. No reason to live, constantly trying to adjust to someone.
Still life - a game, and all of us from time to time need a timeout. If you do not allow yourself to relax, stress and frustration will accompany you constantly. Learn to relax and recuperate, and then your mental and physical health has improved.
Many people do not use their opportunities in life to the maximum. If you feel that you are capable of more risk, challenge destiny. You can feel the enthusiasm of the discoverer, while your friends will still be lazily wallowing in the mire of everyday life. Overcoming borders makes life much more attractive.
Oh, it's so hard to be patient, how hard to wait, but sometimes that's all you can do. Sometimes circumstances force us to slow down and wait, you just need to accept that. In the end, you can choose - to calm down and not rush into a decision or hurry and people laugh.
You do not learn from your mistakes
Stepping on the same rake - the favorite amusement of some people. They always come to the same disastrous results, but continue to operate under the same scheme of self-destruction. In itself such a habit is much more difficult to observe, because block bad memories much more tempting than to analyze them. In fact, mistakes help us to achieve any goal - as if they may be painful, it is our experience that, as we know, not spend on drink.
Or cat. Or parrot. Or at least an aquarium with fish. Research shows that interaction with pets helps produce oxytocin, a hormone well-being as a person and an animal. Dog - it's your own therapist, who can always make your day a little brighter and give you joy.
You confuse happiness with comfort
You can be warm and cozy apartment is warm and cozy, the warm and comfortable life, but you still will not be happy with this. Often makes us happy that prints out of balance and comfort.Learn to distinguish between these two senses and prioritize. Perhaps at some point have to sacrifice comfort, but it's worth it.
Old, worn out the truth, but works perfectly: you will not ever happy, if not to make peace with yourself and love yourself. It's like that constantly pull on yourself someone who knocks you on the head. Stop hold of his life boxing ring. Love a man, which is reflected in a mirror, and you both will be much easier to change for the better.
You play the role of victim
Circumstances are always stronger. The others are always more power. You - a cog in the vast edifice, which grinds you. Seriously? Or maybe you need to rethink their beliefs and just take responsibility for their own actions? Adults who do just that. And happy - too. Do not let anyone take over the other.
You do not allow yourself to be happy
So why do you hold on to everything that makes you sad? This is a complex question and honest to yourself. If we recognize that happiness - it is a conscious choice, therefore, we have to take responsibility for it, as for every choice. Unhappy to be easier - you can do nothing and spend all your time on self-pity. Happiness involves activity. Whether you like it or not - it's up to you.
